You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
