found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
