So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He better not be in your backpack
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
