I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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