He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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