actually, I'm a sock model
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what day is it and did you see me today?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
