I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so explain again why im purple
no
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
