I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
