Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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