4 words: hood of his car
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
