Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
