Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
