My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
