tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
