I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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