He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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