he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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