kristin has been a bad kristin
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
