Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
