I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
they're like a gay fantastic four
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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