He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
