we're blogging at a bar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
