Ambien. No doubt about it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
