A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just google imaged poop.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
