You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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