so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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