If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
