Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
