I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
