Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
