cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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