We won't sleep together?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
