so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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