whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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