Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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