sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
