I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
