His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
