Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
