I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
