Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
