they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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