I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
God, I missed his penis.
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