somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
