STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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