it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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