You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
