Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
