she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
