i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
