we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
