oh god the rape fog is back!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
